By Lily Brown '15 and Greg Noël '15
Get the Gringo (Adrian Grunberg, 2012). Shit. So we watched this movie and… It’s hella good. We know you probably got your apprehension about watching a Mel Gibson film but shut up. We don’t care. So shhh. This is a movie of life, love, and corrupt Mexican prison. And believe you us, it de-livers.
You don’t know it yet, but that’s a pun. Because this movie is about livers. Discreetly. But not really so discreetly.
Picture this: Two clowns on a lovely summer drive near the border (of Mexico). But it turns out it’s not a lovely summer drive because there are cops on their tail; they have stolen so much money. We see blood escape one of the clowns’ mouths, it lands on the money… he is definitely dead. Mel Gibson takes off his clown mask and swears. You’ll notice that the swearing is a trend. All of a sudden, Mel gets an idea. An idea that might save him -- spoiler alert: it doesn’t. He swerves so fast into a pile of dirt: this is innovation. Is that a pile of dirt? No. It is a car ramp. Mel is LAUNCHED through the iron fence into the safety of Mexico. But he is not safe. Because little does Mel know that there is a whole mess of corrupt, Mexican cops waiting for him.
Then the cops take all the money for themselves and book Mel for a different crime so they don’t have to claim anything. Next thing we know, we’re in prison and Mel don’t know shit about shit. In his own words: “Is this a prison, or the world’s shittiest mall?” An accurate description. Basically it’s a shitty barrio within the confines of a prison wall. Depressingly enough it is based on a real prison. In real life. Like, for real.
A lot of other stuff happens, but really all you need to know is that there is a kid whose character is just billed as “kid” on IMDb. He’s sassy, ballsy, and he has a nicotine problem. We like kid. He also has a chill ass mom who Mel really wants to bang. You will want this family to work.
Without giving too much away there are innumerable shootouts, several grenade explosions, and unexpected self-shankings that result in a catastrophic amount of dead extras. The acting is good. The dialogue is good. The Spanish dialogue is good. The cinematography is good. The special effects are good. And you don’t even mind the subtitles. We give this movie 8 ½ ripped off toes (via bare hands) out of 10.
It’s Dawson’s Creek, you guys. We’re reviewing Dawson’s Creek.