Stokes Bar Becomes Stokes Bench

by Kieran Najita '16

 Hello, the time has come for me to tell you all about the great sadness that has fallen, fallen, fallen over the Stokes house like a great black cloud swallowing sun, sky, and yes, moon, all in one fell swoop of sadness, one incredibly sad blanket of sadness slowly expanding into the seriously down feeling that is happening right now. The time has come to remember that we must never forget to remember the Stokes bar, a good fellow who really didn’t deserve to get sawed in half. This bar was really good and now it is sawed in half, and we must remember that these are the current truths of the time.

    The bar was extremely gentle and never did, as far as I know, kill or murder even a single person. Furthermore, it was never convicted of any acts of treason or even high treason, and has never attempted to assassinate a major political figure. It’s things like these that make us all very aggrieved by the loss of this excellent piece of furniture, so beautifully crafted and yet so gruesomely struck down before its (or anyone else’s, for that matter) time by the cruel hand of being cut in half.

    Not many a person meets their end by being cut in half, although it has been known to happen in rare and very unfortunate circumstances. The bar faced this ignoble fate with a steady and brave heart, so to speak, metaphorically, because it is a bar. I have to say that this is a bar I know to be of strong character, and strong, strong is what we must be when we face sadness, as it always rears its ugly head, often in hand with its old companion: death. Indeed, death is a fate met by all, not just the bar, and it’s events like this that bring this sobering (pun VERY NOT intended) fact to light.

    Let us talk more specifically about the bar, and how it was very good, and how it was made by Rory’s sister. Seriously, Rory’s sister made it, for a play, in which it did an excellent job of appearing to really be a bar, as that was the way it appeared. Indeed, it really did have the true appearance of a bar, what with its flat top and also with the metal bar that was on the front of it. These are all indeed truly noble characteristics, that make clear to us how much of a sad and a very much lamentable and indeed saddening event it being sawed in half was.

    Indeed however I do perceive a hope for the resurrection of the bar. I have heard that an attempt is being made to repair the bar, an option that a human being who had been cut in half would not have, but the bar, being a bar, thankfully, has that advantage. Indeed, some time in the future, the bar may be returned whole again. The hope in which we wait for the bar may lead us to ponder the question of if anyone can ever really make it back from the dead. The bar may return to us, but will it really be the same? Once one has crossed the threshold of death, are they really of this living world? Or have they glimpsed too much? Can something return from nothingness? If that something is a bar, or really any other inanimate object, maybe it can. Maybe it can.