BREAKING: Liz Coleman Confirmed as Commencement Speaker

Liz Coleman Staring down the Competition

Liz Coleman Staring down the Competition

by Mike "Based" Goldin Columbia '15

The Bennington Free Press, through an anonymous source, has confirmed that former President Elizabeth Coleman will be the speaker at this spring's commencement ceremony. The commencement address will take place in the Symposium room in ECCAPA (Elizabeth Coleman Center for The Advancement of Public Action), with simulcast taking place in the Student Center. "When asked on the content of the speech Coleman said it would cover, 'Life lessons, the history of the universe, the importance of environmental sustainability, drone warfare, and waterskiing’. The announcement surprised many, especially since both acclaimed Bennington author Donna Tartt and the Idea Channel's Mike Rugnetta were both rumored to be speaking, but were ultimately replaced by Coleman as talks proceeded. "This is my college and I will accept no substitutions," Coleman added.