Izzy Casey '17 & Lilly Hogan '18
On Finding New Friends and Procrastination
DRAWN FACE: I’m feeling sort of blue lately. ALL of my friends graduated and I don’t know what to do.
I: This is a hard question. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Bennington is really amazing because there’s no grade hierarchy in terms of making friends.
L: Yeah I don’t have anyone to hang out with anymore.
L: I am sorry you never leave your room.
I: This isn’t about ME, Lilly. WHY do you ALWAYS make it about me.
L: Ok, I’m sorry (sigh). This is about Drawn Face. Well, I would say that it is okay to be friends with whomever you want to be friends with but you also need to always keep in mind that people will graduate. So even if you love someone that is a senior, make sure you hang out with other people more because they will leave you sooner and if I have learned anything about life, I have learned that you need to FIGHT to stay RELEVANT.
I: Here is an example of how you might do this.
SENIOR: Hey Izzy, do you want to hang out.
IZZY: No. You won’t be relevant soon(to junior walking next to them). Hey! Want to hang out? I will buy you pizza at Marigold’s.
JUNIOR: Totally Izzy! We will then both be relevant! Yay!
(IZZY and JUNIOR walk off together. SENIOR sits down and starts to cry.)
L: Wait a second, Izzy.
I: Yes , Lilly?
L: You’re a senior. Which means you are totally irrelevant.
L: I’m breaking up with you as friends.
I: Come on. You can’t do that.
L: Well, we have to follow our own advice or else we’d be hypocrites.
I: Well, maybe you can just not make any friends and then when you leave you won’t cry at all and will be so bored and happy to get out of here.
L: That’s a great idea! Just don’t make any friends at all.
I: Everyone else is pretty irrelevant if you think about it!
Lilly: Hang back and take a stretch. Let’s get to our next question from Blond Boy. Ok, so this Blond Boy. He wanted to know about procrastination. He said, to ME,
BLOND BOY: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU PROCRASTINATE LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YOUR MINUSCULE EXISTENCE?
L: You have designated time to just space out. This means you carve out massive portions of your life dedicated to just staring at a wall or running and listening to music and thinking or just standing in the shower with your eyes glazed over and your thoughts wandering. Then when you go to do your homework you will find that you literally do not have the bandwidth to not do your work because you have made your life so bland and boring that school work sounds good compared to your beige, benign existence.
I: No no no no NO. Just DO the work. Stop complaining about it. Sheesh. How come everyone is always running around talking about how much work they have to do!? I don’t care. Guess what!? None of your friends do either. And I get it. I ALSO have an essay I haven’t written AND a book I haven’t finished, but you don’t see me wasting YOUR time by complaining about it. And HOW COME complaining has become so competitive. Here is how it usually goes (or so I’ve noticed).
Complainer: Oh man I have a SHIT ton of work to do.
Other Complainer: Me too, it’s ridiculous.
Complainer: I’m not going to sleep at all.
Other Complainer: Me too and I didn’t sleep the night before.
Complainer: Well, I didn’t sleep ALL week and I have to finish this FOUR page paper on a book I haven’t read. And then I have a meeting.
Other Complainer: I have the most meetings out of any one. I’m a house chair. Everyone is knocking on my door crying right now.
Complainer: I don’t have time for this conversation, I have too much work to do.
(the complainers fight each other)
Nobody wants to know how many pages of Nietzche you have to read. Stop wasting time complaining about your dumb essay and maybe you’ll have the time to do it!
L: That is so dumb. Studies have proven the effectiveness of complaining. But I honestly have too much homework to sit around and argue with you Izzy.
I: Well I haven’t slept in three months
(Izzy falls asleep)
L: If YOU have any questions or situations in your life that need some advice, be sure to send us an email so that we may look at it and maybe give you advice.
end emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org and/or email@example.com