Guilty as Charged!: I Think Tomi Lahren is Kinda Pretty and Also Her Ideas Aren’t That Bad

Image from Salon

Image from Salon

By Wesley Haaf

Dear Tomi,

I feel… I feel, that something is wrong. This is a strange year; it’s a difficult time; 2016 was absolutely dreadful; and it seems you’re a bit stuck in a bit of a no-man’s land—the left is keeping you at the same arm’s distance we’ve kept you at since you started talking, so loudly on your show, with that voice, that sound, sounds shaping into these replay-able samples, literally a meme, like a cartoon character, Angelica, from Rugrats, tone so fiery and red-hot, mean-spirited; meanwhile the righters are shoving you away; they cancelled your show and banned you from the network. Because they wanted you on a leash but you spoke your mind.

And that’s what I’ve been wanting to write you about. I know we have our differences, but I was hoping for the chance for you so you might if you wanted to warm this here little boy’s heart and let him be the best thing you need all you need supporting and helpful and loving and reassuring. What you said about abortion and the government keeping their hands off bodies really resonated with me. I thought, “She’s just changed it all. Tomi changed it all.” It righted all the wrongs I ever had with anything you ever said and I forgave you for it and I even could understand where you were coming from and started to think you weren’t ever really that bad at all if I think about it and I can see so clearly you’re perspective and I’m sorry, on my behalf and the behalf of the left, and whether they like it or not! I’m sorry!

So, without further ado, would you like to get a mocha latte or a chai tea latte or a coffee with me sometime? It’d be worth your time, and so would I..!